I am feeling so incredibly lonely at this moment.
drinking chamomille so hopefulyl my sleep will be more peaceful than it has been as of late. I need more people in my life. I want to be in love. I cant get what i want it seems.
my mother is sleeping on the couch, my brother, somewhere in Raleigh. my father down the hall is in his bed.
I want to be someone else, someone happier. I want to be able to do all these things i want to do, be the person I want to be.
God, im not wallowing am I? oh well, fuck it.

I dont really know what i want. I keep making stupid and declarative statements. all i know for sur eon the subject is that i want something that will make me happy. I expect it to be a person somehow.