I just got out of the shower
wet hair, damp heels
a few footprints of water on the tile floor of my dorm room

It is thursday, already,
I have 9 dollars in my pocket now, as opposed to this time yesterday when all i had to my name was 3.24 in my checking account, 15 cents on my desk in nickels and a glass piggie bank with some pennies.
now i have all that plus 9 dollars, in crisp and not so crisp bills.

Somewhere there is someone wearing my necklace.

I wanted to hate you when we were younger. I wanted to hate you so much, but instead i was so fond of you. I tried it a few times, it didn't work.
The fact is that everyone around me made it so overwhelmingly clear that they liked you better than me. And all their constant comparisons of us only served to make me feel like I was being replaced.
It is so silly, I know it was. I based so much of my identity on weather or not people liked me, and you never seemed to care about that at all. It was only natural that the one desperate for attention wouldn't get it and the one who didnt care much about it would receive it in droves.

I have to leave for class in 15 minutes

So why now, after all this time, after wanting very much to hate you (though I was unsuccessful even when i was quite sure you hated me) am I now tending toward the diametric oppossite?

My mind wanders and wonders. Was it something there all along? Did it grow when I wasn't looking only to slap me in the face one spring day. Did it happen that instant in the car, when I mentioned the sunset and consciously thought of a romantic moment with you despite myself?

That moment . . . that day was an amazing one, but that moment was so much. I sat there with you, silence was there for jsut a moment. I kept screaming at my mind, as i had for the past hour that I should not be thinking this, I should not be feeling this, what was I doing? I saw the sunsetting, thought of how picturesque and romantic the moment could easily turn and then called attention to it.

A friend of mine here insisted on seeing a picture of the girl whom i currently smile and feel giddy about. I only have one recent one.

It's time to leave for class, 10:45. I feel strange and happy and uneasy.