on a side note, now thanks to sitemeter i know that people have found my diary by searching on google for "heels vertigo" (that one is obvious) and "Body Dysphormic Disorder" . . . that last one confuses me, ::shrugs::

i am a mass of cravings. I am quitting smoking, i must, it costs too much money. I did smoke one today, an ultra-light marlboro someone gave me . . . it was like tasting air that had blown kinda near some tobacco, it was lame . . . it was wonderful. my mind is shaking, thinking and craving tobacco, but no i wont, i wont smoke, i wont.

I have no money, which is awful because i want to spend my money on someone, which is awful because then i will have even less money.i throw money around like candy
maybe i should just throw the candy around instead.

It is bad how i constantly want to spend money on people, but nice i suppose, im like a financial mother theresa . . . . bad analogy

i started this entry around 8:30, it is now 1:25 am, i nevver got around to finishing it . . . and i am too tired and loopy to know what my point was initially.

thoughts drift in andout . . . and pop sometimes