I can very easily say that my attraction for him is mostly gone. It is harder to say when i am near him. but still quite sayable. . . sayable is not a word.
So you see, i think the thing is that more than anything i am lonely. and he is there, and what would have been a minor passing attraction became . . . overpowering.

but it is going now, fading away. as well it should. I am afraid it will not be completely gone till i fill that hole.

I am like the women who feel they must constantly be in a relationship, except not in a relationship. I constantly feel a need for a romantic interest, so i create them. I think perhaps i created him. perhaps

i do need someone, but i need someone who wants me, if that someone exists.

dont you want somebody to love