I am alreayd missing him desperately. The complete barrier in communication lines is maddening.
I went to his room today, talked to his roommate, who is my friend too, a very close friend, dotn get me wrong . . . but he wasnt there. he didnt smile and act surprised when i walked in.
my chest aches
i feel too much for this guy, way too much. And I cant control it and i cant stop it.
and i cant for the life of me find anyone to talk to about it. Who would I talk to? my closest friends are him and his roommate. I can't talk to him about it. His roommate knows how i feel and ic an tell fears he would become a third wheel and i dont want him to get uncomfortable, so i cant really discuss it with him.
and all my female friends are mostly giggly on the subject and not someone who can really absorb wha ti am saying or thinking.

I miss the way things were, it was a good system. finding out you need someone and they dont need you . . . its never fun I think i am dealing well though.

i fell asleep last night thinking about the time we were tipsy and on my bed with our arms aorund eachother.

i am so pitiful