I'm going to take a philosophy exam in a few minutes
then i will come back tidy up my room and do nothing until it is time for my dad to pick me up and take me home for a week's time.
The tall lanky young gentleman left last night, we were supposed to watch American beauty together "This movie will change your life" he said. but instead he had to catch an earlier ride and leave early . . . i couldnt say it but i was mad at him for it. with no right to be mad.
I was called to bring a copy of the script down so he could mark the cuts so he would have it to look at over break, i wasnt called to say goodbye. I wasnt called for a farewell.
To go from seeing eachother, seeing the same friends every night for a month or more to 11 days with no contact whatsoever . . . and I care so much about him, far more than I should.
I know I will miss the sound of his voice. I will miss locking eyes for too long, and joking and laughing in that strange way that only he can make me laugh.
I don't think I can remember how to fall asleep without having talked to him that day.
As we said goodbye I wanted to kiss him. Because i wanted to and because it would be a perfect departure, a perfect surprise, and a way to guarantee he would think of me while he was gone.
I didn't.
I walked up the stairs to my room, he walked down the stairs to leave, i stopped and looked down.

I wanted to cry