So I have a new and better picture of my tattoo and here it is:

so there is that.

it snowed today, i woke feeling much like i had the night before, except now able to put a fake smile on. not long after writing my entry about my behavior last night I went to Heather's room to double check that she hadnt come by for anything important, just as i suspected she had come by to "check on me" i felt angry and upset

I went back to my room, puddled about for a bit feeling sorry for myself then is aw snow outside the window

at first i thought my eye deceived me, they did not and befor elong it was quite the heavy downfall of snow.
I rushed outside and walked about made some excuse to go somewhere or something, within moments i couldnt stop smiling. Snow has this strange effect on me. A white pure blanket draped over all i was feeling and i came out feeling clean again, so wonderfully clean
responses to longwinded and possibly regretted emails ceased to matter, friendships, loves, all these things that moments before had seemed so crucial, as though everything was crumbling around me

all the rubble, the cracks and chunks of cement were covered till everything was even again, i glided across the top
not a care in the world
i walked into the cafeteria this unending uncontrollable goofy smile on my lips, covered in snow flakes, i said hello too cheerfully to a strange and he smiled back and told me snow was in my hair, i told him i knew in the happiest tone i have ever heard come out of my mouth

it seems that i act the same when in the throws of early love as i do when it snows. When i am first falling desperately for someone and after a walk in powdery white condensation i become a strangely extroverted person

So what is to become of me? of my life now? I dont know, i dont know if i will become more alone, or less, if i will continue to lack a confidant, if there will be some gaping hole or not

If there will be a hole, then perhaps it will snow again
create a bridge i can walk across