I am slowly beginning to develop a deep resentment for the vast majority of my family
So I think I will systematically list them here . . .
My mother's parents: Casually racist and unexplainably republican my mother's aprents infuriate me. My grandmother once told me how she wished all the homosexuals would leave her state, she went on for thirty minutes about how it would make everything better. She also tries to joke with me about "coloreds"
they say "colored" which really pisses me off. And they say thing smuch worse with a far more nonchalant air as if it wer ethe most natural thing in the world.

My mother's siblings: think that they need a man to complete them, are also casually racist and treat me condescendingly

my cousins on my mother's side: Are following their mothers lead and becoming completely boy obsessed and dependant, and one of them came out and went back in to the closet which both confuses me and makes me gain respect then lsoe respect for her

My father's parents: My grandmother sets the womens lib movement back about 300 years by waiting on all people with a penis on hand and foot. She also constantly asks me if i have a boy in my life, as if it were quite important. She however, other than that is actually somewhat nice. My grandfather is an asshole, who is a democrat (which i would normally like) for all the wrong reasons (which is why i dont like it). He makes fun of all women and minorities. He forces me to do karaoke. He loves my younger cousins and spoils them rotten, but when i was young he treated me like utter shit and paid me no attention. He wont listen to a single word i say and does nothing but complain about every play he has seen me in. He refuses to accept teh psychologists diagnosis of him he is arrogant, narrow-minded, and he treats me like an idiot because i am a woman . . . just for starters.

My Dad's sister: She became religious overnight and constant,y judges me for not thinking harry potter is satanic and other such things. She is brainwashing her children into never thinking for themselves and thinks half the things on my christmas list every year are sinful.

My Dad: This one is a bit old hat. REad my diary for one day and you will know i cannot stand my father. He puts me down, puts my mom down, my brother as well. He is as racist as his father. he is cruel etc etc etc we all know it

My mother: this one is new, totally new. my mother used to be the good one. She throws guilt trips she is so obsessed with sacrificing for her children that she sacrifices without cause, wont beleive me when i say there is no cause and then uses the pointless non-sacrifice to try and makes me feel horrible about myself. She thinks everythin i say is a lie. She told me her way of dealing with my brother being gay is denial. She refuses to accept him for who he is, she yells and screams if it is brought up and he came out to her four years ago!!!! She told him a few days ago that he needs a girlfriend, this set me off. this made me want to jsut attack her. She rejects and puts down everything that doesnt fit into her idea of how things should be, it is cruel and it hurts. it hurts alot . . . more than anything i can think of. the fact that the parent who it hought after all this time could be trusted and could be understanding will never be able to accept me if i could tell her. that i will mroe than likely keep a secret from her almost my entire life . . . . . it isnt right and it makes me want to just . . .lose her one day . . . like a chil din a supermarket who for some reason you dont look for . . and they call the name out on the intercom trying to reunite the mother and child . . and you pretend not to hear.

My brother of course, is still fantastic, the only things baout him id o not like are these glimpses of my father tht i sometimes see in his eye or hear in his voice.

I feel so much more alone knowing that my family is no one i want to be around . . . i dont really like any of them . . . and i have fewer and fewer friends as i slowly realize some people really dont give a shit about me

this sucks