I am contemplating doing the single bravest thing i have ever done. (well tht is if i do it)
like msot women i was trained to wait, that all men secrelty want me and that when i came of age i would have to beat off and weed through sleaze bags trying to find the right guy till suddenly someone would show up on a white horse and whisk me away
of course i was also raised to beleive in god, to be heterosexual, and to not smoke drink, or do drugs
it has taken alot of effort to get to where and how i am today. I have broken down so much brain washing and so many walls my parents and family built up inside me, some good, some bad.
and I am on my way to breaking one more
Once I became comfortable with being attracted to women it wasnt very odd to me to ask one out. Mind you my insecurities amde it a challenge, but i could be done, and was done. Women in a lot of ways are easier for me to deal with, because nobody ever set out how to deal with women in relationships, there was no bull shit set of rules that i was taught to follow in that area
i am going to break a rule
i am going to ask a guy out
I have toed with the idea so many times, agonized over it and ultimately always chickened out, of course i never truly thought i would go through with it anyway
but now i am.
i will be decisive, i will be successful
i wil ask him out
I have been planning it in my head for several days now, when to attack and how. It is all very elaborate and very intricate.
and I am sure it will all not go according to plan, i am almost counting on it. as many contingencies i attempt to plan for i secretly hope that something unexpected will occur, otherwise i will panic when i reached the unplanned portions.
wish me luck world!
and i dont care how unladylike my mother always told me it was.