making preparations to cover my mistake and make things go back to normal
a small part of me
nay a big part of me
does not want to cover it up, i dont think i want to deny what i said

but if i dont the shit hits the fan

part of me wants to accept the circumstances . . . this is the same part of me that thinks i might have a chance.
and i keep hearing "if it is meant to be it will happen" and that dreamy part of me thinks that there is something there

but i cant forget to practical, realistic. I can't forget to think within the realm of the real world . . . where most people have lines and boundaries and standards . . . and definite sexual orientations

and i know the best thing to do is to chalk it up to drunkenness and try to pretend it was just something i said

but i want badly to just say it again while sober