(hey guys the offer of a gmail invitation is still out there, i have 5 more and absolutely no friends to give them to. just drop me a note with your email address.)

voila! i have written a poem, not a spontaneous diary poem like i have been doign altely but a thoguth otu one on paper, and ilike it very much, give me a note and tell me what you think, I changed the ending like 50 times, but i really love the poem . . so much anyway here it is:

_porcelain_
she was 18 with at twisted smile
and when I dared
      I'd stare for a while
at her breasts
      and the curve of her thigh
she told me life had been too good
nothing to cry for
       she wished she could
and often did
       for no reason at all
I promised her we'd run away
to some other place
       long past yesterday
so her cheeks could turn rosy
       colored by pain
she told me once
"I wish I could hate this place."
she said it with
       such a smile on her face
and I wanted to kill her
       for her own sake
by now she must have turned nineteen
I wouldn't know
       it's been long since I've seen
a smile like that
       or anybody still pure
I wish I could have broken her 
perhaps I did
       I can't know for sure
'cause i didnt turn around
       for fear she'd smile and I'd cry