48 dyas till i can move to Greensboro. I have now taken my fourth long trip out of town in the span of about a month.

Virginia (but that wa with family, so does it realyl count?)

Greensboro, a lovley glimpse at things to come

Wilmington, a wonderful sense of fear and liberation

Raleigh, a trip to Rocky, running in the mall, sleeping in a walmart parking lot . . . fantastic

I have grown impatient. For years i have been waiting for the day i could get out of this house, to live somewhere else. and now it is so tangible so clear and real. every day since i was about ten years old, living here slowly got worse, little by little. it is reaching the rbeaking point. I must get out, as soon as i can

i have 48 days . . . thats it, less than two months.

I am packing this summer with as many excuses not to be here as i can, just so it will be a little mroe ebarable, jsut so the alst month that i have to put up with it wont destroy me

there are times when it doesnt matter that my father ahtes me, or that i am a horrible waitress, or that evertyhing i do seems to anger my mother . . . . i can feel jsut happy

and it is always, always, when i am far away.

So last night it was Rocky, with the virgin dance and the timewarp, yelling screaming, throwing rice, and of course, the underwear run. next time . . i dont know what

as long as it isnt here, as long as it is somewhere else