Its been so long
since my heart ebgan to beat
since warmth entered me
since i felt jittery and nervous
butterflies and weakness
running hrough me
at a touch
   a word
     a smile
and so i pour myself
head first
into intensity and romance and
surprisingly
     honesty
a sort of excitement i have missed
since the year began
and fascination ended
and now born again

but new but different
      (or so i hope 
        quite desperately)
to be touched to be cared about
to feel intensity
passion
a word slightly
less
analytical

a habit
of telling me interesting facts
i had no interest in
and a delightful bit
of care for me rather than
selfishness
       (ah yes i recall
          selfishness)

regardless
skin explored
no guilt
familiarity
and a sort of promise
not spoken or understood
that in 58 days 
my year really begins