I find it entertaining to amuse myself with dillusions that i have a chance

i create little explorations in my social life, litte endeavors tha ti go on where i imagine the other persons side and build it all up in my head to something grandiose. something interesting, intriguing

romantic even . . . .

its fun tot hink that way ebcause it gives me soemthing to look forward too. Screw teh dissapointment that will hit later, later is later. It is so easy to be concerned only with now. and it is soemthing I do quite well

i get so excited and i dont even know if the othe rperson has a compatible sexual orientation. I dont even know if they are itnerested

i dont even know their last name

i say "their" so there is a good deal of gender ambiguity

becaus ei lvo emystery, i lvoe wondering if people realize when i write about them in my journal, i love pondering and taking risks and being personal but not specific enought aht everyone puts two and two together

a glutton for punishment i suppose