Last update:

2004-03-28
8:26 p.m.
Bi-Polar version 15

Even more of my psychotic ramblings

cold feet

I want to be a writer, a poet, a word weaver, one who creates phrases and words and depth

i want to be a doctor, a healer someone who solves problems o fhte heart and mind, fidning a meaning to the wounds we inflict on eachother

I want to be an actress, to show real life, real characters emotion in its purest form

i want to be an artist, a scupltor a painter, a creator of meaning in tangible form

i want to be a director to orchestrate profound works and teach others in my craft, all together, collaborating, making something that is all of us

i want to be an explorer, to find places that have never been seen before, if there are any left, to find the beauty in a sunset on a different shore

i want to be everything. and nothing all at once, tobe restricted frightens me, to stop painting and turn to acting entirely would kill me, despite the fact that i do not paint as much or as well as i wish i could. To quit writing and turn entirely to directing makes my stomache turn, because to leave the first vocation i ever loved would make even my other greatest ambition turn sour

there is no way to win with traditional education, only so many majors an dminors one can hope to acquire in four years.