(ok im gonna describe a dream i had because I am depserate for someone, anyone to tell me wha ti tmeans. It isnt exactly family friendly so dont get all fussy at me if you are offended.)

I had it again. the dream, this twisted dream tha ti hva ehad hundreds of versions of over the past few years. the frequency of which has increased greatly recently.

dreams where gender lines are blurred

i have this strang enew category of dreams where i have a penis, or where i am dressed up as a man, pretending to be one and people beleive it and then when i later try to reveal the truth they dont beleive it, even after a display of female genitalia. ITs this series of dreams where i am confsued for a male where i am one technically or i very well may as be one and what makes it worse is

well

almso tall fo these dreams invovle a woman in some sexual cpacity, weather it be flirtation, fore play or my most recent dream from two nights ago

i dotn recall much of it but i had a penis . . . quite the penis. very very big. i was with this beautiful woman who now that i think about it looks like someone i know, (if you wanna know ask me i sure as hell wont say it here) she ahd long black hair, sh ewas beautiful jsu tbreathakingly beautiful in a way i cant describe.

an element that is rare in thse dreams i didnt feel as odd as usual about havin ga penis and for once i dont recall her syaing anythign about me being a man or me thinking she thoguth i was a man o rme attempting to convinve her i wasnt a man. These all happen in almsot all the others

in this i was myself very much so, i just had a penis.

damn did i mention it was quite the penis?

the girl and i were talkign and obviosuly about to get intimate. I showed her a condomn i had bought it was fairly large and in a purple wrapper she said it was a good thing it was lubricated but unecessary ebcaus she ahd brought osme lube seein gas apaprently the last time i was a bit too big for her and it was difficult. I dont recall much else, i dont recall where we were, i am fairly sure we were naked the last thing i remeber was her going down on my and lickin gmy penis and i felt it . . . yeah i felt it . . . .which was kinda odd and different , my mind seemed to attach a more familiar sensation to it something i had expereicned before, but even so it was different it was definitly the feeling of well . . soemoen touching ym penis which i have never felt ebfore.

the colo rpurple was prominent, it sognna sound odd . . but well, my penis was that sort of purplish fleshy color that can occur naturally, it didn tseem odd, and well it is a colo rthat cna occur naturally, its not like barney's penis or soemthing and the tip was slightly bent as i recall.

the woman was so beautiful and i dont recall thinking or feeling iw as a man in this one

these dreams bother me, make me wonder things, after all the time i spent figuring out my sexuality they fill me with the fear that i still have mroe to figure out . . . i cna be like a hypochondriac, in that, when ihear about something (not really a medical condition or disease) i wonder if i am one, i suspect myself. When i read Middlesex i wondered if i was a hermaphrodite. the dream . . .it makes me wodner if i am transexual . . but i am a woman i feel like a woman dammit . . . . i dont really think i am a transexual i am too much of a woman to be anything else . . . i hope . . i think . . .

waht the fuck is this dream trying to tell me. seriosuyl i want any ideas any at all my dream books are no help at all this time, they all say it is about power but that answer doesnt seem rgiht, there is no transexual o rhermaphrodite in ym dream dictionairy . . . .

(sorry for all the typoes i am far to lazy and stressed to try today to be accurate)