im not safe to myself

today i ate a handful of popcorn and a sandwich.

and i felt sick of myself. I wanted to puke. i felt so disgusted withmyself. I felt like a pig

this is not good.

i shouldnt do this, this isnt healthy, physically or psychologicly.

i make mad decisions, im imfamous for it, at least imfamous to myself.

for a week i cried within my head over how beautiful everyone else was . . . .

whats wrong with me?

that was a rhetorical wuestion by the way

oh im sorry am, i sounding whiny again? i hope im insulting those who think "Miss bi-polar, you give bisexual self mutilators a bad name" yeah you.

fuck you

i feel what i feel and the whole point of a diary is to whine btich or be happy or to personify any emotion through words and that is whay im doing

im ugly im fat i ahte msyelf, i want to puke i enevr want to eat again, the thought of eating makes me sick but at the same time i want to eat more befcaus ei am depressed over being so fat and digusting becaus ei eat

and ill say it again because this is my diary and i can say whatveer hte hell i want