sometimes, jsut for an insant, waiting can be sweet.

It is like sugar on my tongue. I sit here and fidget, knowing he is coming tonight, t hat tonight i will be with him. I do not know when, so few things like that are sure, but I know he is.

I have always been waiting for him. Like little girls are trained to do, to wait for true love. Most confuse true love with a hot body, or a cool car, or a fat wallet. But a few of us, we hopeless romantics, we are waiting all along for something profound. Something deep and romantic. The person who will ride in on a horse and take us away from 'all this'.

Waiting was a long process. I sat for the longest time. Remembering what my mother said when I got lost in the grocery store: "If you ever get lost again, stay in one place so that I can find you."

I tried that for a while. I waited in the frozen food isle for years, most of my life.

It was sweet at first. fanciful even. to be free and have that anticipation in you that someone might come.

Then after sometime it settled in my mind that I was saying 'might'. that there was a strong chance that no one would arrive. Then things got complicated.

What if no one comes? What if I freeze to death?

then I began to truly realize how lost i was. This was not a game, this was life, ,and I was standing still. I made a deal with myself. I would stay there like mummy had said. but I could at least look around. So i discovered the tasty treats on my isle.

The ice cream: made my head ache

the fish sticks: made me sick

Frozen dinners: plastic coated

popsicles: melted and witherd under pressure

So the panic set in and I ran about and waiting became torture. But somehow I couldnt let myself leave what had been told to me all along.

Waiting drove me insane and things became colder and colder, I became colder and colder.

Till one day, at the brink of dissolving there, in this brutal fate I had given myself, someone finds me.

the someone I had given up on, the 'might' the 'maybe'.

The wait of my life was over. It is over.

And now I can sit here, my feet falling asleep, and I can smile and sing and dance as I wait. because this time I KNOW he is coming.

And to think the whole time he was looking for me in the produce section