tears have never been so real to me as these.

I ache so much inside, My love is so far away. Miles and miles between us and all I want is to touch him for only an instant and I cannot. It has been denied to me, perhaps I do not deserve it.

I have had enough happiness I suppose and to be near him would be too much.

i have screwed thing sup enough and I do not deserve the one thing let that I want this badly.

More than I thought I could ever want anyone or anything.

These tears are so hard to hold back, but I try none the less, because I am not supposed to be sad ebcause I can hear him say he loves me again and again. And I can say it in return.

But I cannot kiss him and I cannot hold him and feel his heart beat, I miss him so badly.

Tears are so real, too real.

Take my tears away and give me something better, give him to me. Even if for a moment a second. To have before my eyes the one thing i want most, even if i could not hold him, couldnt say a word, it would be enough to sustain me.

But for now all I can do is cry and hope he is as real as my tears.