Some times I just love life.

That must sound odd coming from me, the girl who burns her wrists and fears her father and contemplates suicide regularly.

sometimes i fell content, I know life is far from perfect and often i feel happy in the midst of some horrible problems, but that doesn't matter.

because some how i am enjoying myself, even though people are dying and i have felt even before the tragedy that inside i was dying as well. . . . at the moment, i am happy.

It's amazing really, i dont know quite how it happens, but I will find myself amongst my friends, or like now, flirting with a girl online, and I won't be thinking about the horrible things that are happening, because at that moment, it doesnt matter that my father was yelling ten second ago, because i am enjoying myself, enjoying life.

The fears and pain sare there, i can feel them on my back, but i do not care, it is the most releif i will get for some time

and I revel in it

I want to go in my kitchen in my sock feet and dance. Because this, like most things, won't last much longer