i still want you to go here: http://kevan.org/johari?view=DryOphelia

two things:

first
I saw my counselor today and i am pretty siure he saw me and tried so hard to aboid him because i was deathly acfraid he would point out that i had stopped going to counseling i need to go to counseling is what makes it even worse. i really really need to go back.
I know full and well he wouldnt have said anythingto me in public, that i was completely safe . . . but. i was still afraid to make eye contact.

second.
i remember a year ago i wrote a paper on same sex marriage for english 101 (in actuality i took a paper from my senior year of highschool and added to it for english 101) I ended it talking about how things were looking up and progress was being made
I read two articles recently that discouraged me. one abou tmassacusetts and one about Spain, both of which were basically the same issue in different places. Spain, which really recently allowed its first same-sex marriage and mass decided that they would not allow people who did not live there get married there. in other words the whole concept of getting married in mass and going to another state and fighting for rights is out the window. it is even more ridiculou sin massacusetts because they wont allow same sex couples who are residents of the SAME COUNTRY to get married there. if your residence doesnt allow it then they wont do it, even though they do.
the article on spain i read talked about it being an anit-immigrant issue. i see it more as an issue of spinelessness. "ok fags, there are enough of you here complaining that we will give in because of that whole democracy thing, but dont expect us to actually treat it as something that is actually fair and just. we didnt do this because it is fair we did this cause you cornered us."
it is the difference between tolerance and acceptance yet again. they will put up with us but they wont accept us. it is like returning a lost wallet for fear of getting caught with it rather than beccause you want to help the person who owns it.
still it is the right thing, even if it is for the wrong reasons.i just got safezone certified. i have been lierally talking about glbt issues allll daaayy. it has me riled up
gay and lesbian highschool students hear anti-homosexual slurs up to 26 times a day.
that depresses me