what makes me more happy than anything else is when someone's eyes light up when they see me. When they perk up as i enter the room. That is the best sort of moment in the whole world. That is the only time i feel truly cared about I think.

and that is why I can't get you out of my head.

that is the difference between the many more friends i used to have and the few I have now. When I arrived at a gathering of the old friends I was barely acknowledged. Now people seem happy to see me, my name is called out across the cafeteria, or someone sits up straight and waves excitedly, or their eyes light up and they give me a crooked smile.
I think i feel lonely in every moment that isn't one of those.

I am sad tonight. I think i'll tidy my room then buy some ben and jerry's and watch moulin Rouge