its been a while since i have been awake this late in this way.

i like her, i do. i think about her alot and i get excited everytime i see her and i know it is somewhat because she is a safer kinder gentler version of someone else. that strange form of attraction worries me, that reasoning, that logic, that subconscious desire . . . .

i dont feel safe by that in myself

i watched a movie, a good one, a very good one.
my new deodorant has this strange familiar perfumey smell.

im uncertain all over.