I can still vaguely smell marlboros and hear the slight nasal twinge to her voice, not enough to be annoying, just enough to be interesting.
andi can see her face and hear her story bouncing through my head, like an echo of my own.
i see her eyes, the way she awwws as i tell her something sad. not patronizing or belittling, but a true expression of sympathy
i cant say no
so captivated, enthralled
she says she is the posterchild for women who are used by men
if only i could break the cycle
of course the lack of a y-chromosome, or compatible sexually orientation makes it a bit difficult
but i could tell her anything
everything
i fear that if given enough time i most definitly will

i told her, there is this person i am falling for . . . hard, but i know it cant be.
i talked to her about her, without her knowing. . . . if i werent so afraid
if i werent
if she werent
there is this whole nother life in a hypothetical world, one in which i have a chance
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