I hate work, i have a miniature panic attack in the parking lot befor ei go in every time.

I dont know what it is about it, i cant stand it, i feel like everything i do is wrong there jsut like everywhere else. Except there it doenst jsut determine my self worth it determines my financial status and weather or not i have a job . . which in the long run determines my self worth all over again

its too much pressure,. and i HATE it.

I wasnt meant to be a waitress, i hate it. I blame my mother for mme getting the job, i was ready to give up on getting one when she talked me into applying a few last places and surprise one of them hired me . . . dammit. I should have gotten taht job at taco bell, or jsut not applied at all, said i applied and never actually do it. i did that at a few places . . . damn my luck.

waitressing requires focus and paying attention . . . none of which are qualities i have. I cant keep track of weather or not its my turn to take the next table, or react isntantly when they call order out . . .. i dont funtion in this world well enough to even attempt at another.

When i am working i reach a point where it is fine and i am ok, but when im not there . . i dread it, i dread the idea of coming in the next day and the idea that i will have to go back again later.

iim so glad imnot interested in any conventional organized professions, i would die out there