My dream last night keeps drifting through me.

I was filling in for a role in Mr. Baker's play, a student had been sick or dead or soemthign and he asked me to be the replacement. I had never run th elines before, i told him i would learn them over the weekend, i didnt. I was trying to get to the school for the show and I kept taking wrong turns, in this area i have been before in dreams, a wooded area with a logn dirt road i go down that leads into this almost giant sized coldesac with buildings that dont seem tpo belong together. In previous dreams iw ent to a dollar store in this area, to a restaurant or a factory, this time in a bran like building with someone inside, the memory is fuzzy, i left this area and searched once again for the school

apon finally finding it i rushed to the dressing room where i was going to get into costume but found i had neglected to bring one, someone put up my hair in teh right way for the character, my character was a batter wife, but it was Dicken's Christmas carol . . . .

But there was something before, before the dressing room. When i first came to the auditorium someone was with me, a man i do not recognize and apon seeing familiar faces i introduced him to a woman and another man as my boyfriend. the woman seemed . . angry, jealous,a s though i were cheating on her, i tried to apologize to her wihtout words but to no avail. I hugged both men, they both had short haircuts i did not like, a military cut i see too often around here. One of htem I kissed and then kissed his neck and once again looked at the woman, her hair was dark she wore a red dress her eyebrows were thick . . . i think her name was polly.

that is the first time i can think of that a stranger in a dream ahd a name

i walked down the isle in the auditorium jumped onto the stage and walked offstage to the dressing room, where my story regains its continuity.

in the dressing room i put on the stage makeup which looked odd and wrong, my eyes looked dark around the edges and my complexion looked fake but i decided it would have to do. I went to put on powder but put on the wrong kind it smudged my face too dark and i struggled to fix it, somehow my face became striped, like a rainbow, diagonal stripes across my face tht would rbeak into a different color at a line in the middle. I tried to get rid of it but could not, then someone walekd in. This guy I hadnt seen since middle school he was in a clown suit and he walked toward me i could see his refletion in th ewindow. He looked at me and said 'there is a smudge in your makeup' i laughed and said well duh, i was referring to the whoel thing that i thoguth was a horrible mess. he said "right here" and ran his finger gently across my jawline where a smudge in an area of red indeed was, then his hand ran down my neck and seemed to dissapear from my senses. he then ran his figner around the neckline of my costume on the opposite side of me as the smdge and said 'dont forget your neckline either' and kissed me there, softly. . . . it reminded me of the only person to kiss me there in a very long time.

He then offered more and i said it was best if he didnt becaus ei had to go ons tage soon he began to leave, walking backwards so that i could see his face as he left. Then i stopped him by saying i knew him in middle school he looked at me indisbeleif. i then said his name and he leapt at me suddenyl and grasped me in a somehwat playful and somewhat malevolent headlock, i laughed and our bodies fumbled around for a while till i had him in the headlock laughing, laughing hard.

then i woke

but now i remember something else, soemthing in the dream that must have happened before the dressing room, i was running the lights for this same show, the lighting board was somehow part of this old antique typewriter i have. it wouldnt obey me, and i rmemeber intermission happening and the actors coming back too soon and me rushing to turn the lgiths on and still they would not obey and fianlyl when it was udner contol i looked abck at the audience (i was not in a lighting booth but rahter in the area highschool theatres general use as a makeshift orchestra pit) This whole section of the audience, their chairs ahd been shifted ruing itnermission so they faced the back left corner, away from teh stage. they all didnt seem to mind except for one woman who twisted in her seat to see the show.

then somwhere else in this dream, after that but before the dressing room Mr. Baker cam eup to me and asked me to fill in for the girl and i said fine, but who would run the lgiths, he sai dh eowuld do it.

and then again another fragmented memory that doesnt stay put in my brain's timeline. AFter being in the dressign room before my face turned into a rainbowed clown a bell rang and all teh toher actors rushed out to start the show, but i stayed, still struggling with my apeparance

struggling to look how i was supposed to, but always feeling like a clown.