I can't stand the way he sees me, as someone he molded and changed that he guided through som ehuge abyss. It drives me insane. That he sees the world and me through this distorted mirror, ihate it . . . soemtiems i hate him

I wan thim to be happy. He wants to think I'm happy. Thats the whoel wrold, and i dont want to hrut him but instead i am killing me. Im destroying msyelf and now im thinking again because i cant stop myself from doing so. Thinkign that i am voluntarily torturing myself.

everything is everything else. love is pain, happiness is torture. It's like when i would burn and cut. I didnt know which emotion was which.what was anything so i picked out what i could indentify and i stuck with it, with that. With what i understood

i dont understand much of anything anymore.