so wha tht ehell is it that i am looking for? some deep and profound meaning, some sort of philosophy that i didnt know was there. tyring so desperately to live vicariously through others that i get angry at them for not knowing what it is i want out of their lives, not knowing how to experience thigns in a way that i finds suitable to my tastes

i have become this glutton, this self righteous, self serving, egotistical bitch.

what do i want?

what is it that i require to feed this strange longing inside of me, this strrange desire ofor everything and nothing all at once. is it love? no that cannot be it, all i would do is make th epther person miserable, lik eio do myself and everyone around me

i jsut dont know anymore