hmmm so i am a bi chick

god the world makes it so simple some times, jsu thte way to explain things, "oh so she's bi?

thats all it takes and that is that, there are of course the obbnoxious questions form the occassional guy who wants fuel for some fantasy, and a few moments of confusion but after that things settle down again

they just can never ever be the same again.

oh yeah, thats all, suddenly half my female friends give me weir dlooks if it touch them and half my guy friends make jokes when i share a soda with them about where my mouth has been, lots of my friends cant figure out how im still a virgin and one thing becomes astoundingly clear

not a single person is interested in me

But thats ok, tra la la la la, ambiguous laughter and pretending its all the same

but dammit it isnt.

i hate this i really do.

i dont know wht to do withmsyelf sometimes, i can thave a relationship because i am so damned obsessed with honesty . . . and i am no thte bi chick of stereotype who feels as though they are entitled to both a boyfriend and girlfriend or guilt free sex . . . its jsu thte way i am and i dont really care if other people are like that. One of my bi friends had sex weth a guy and asked a girl out in the same weekend, one situation so innocent, one very much not. yet this person doesnt care

soemtime si wnat to be liek that, but at the same time i am glad i am the way i am

still there is the problem that i dont want to misrepresent msyelf, i dont want to go out with someone without them knowing my orientation, but at the same time i dont want them to know so that they get to know me and dont run away

its insane that the world works like this. That honestly is condemning . . . . if i tell a guy im bi he assumes i'll sleep with him or gets scared, and im too shy and too deep in the south to find a girl . . . . . so somehow i cant jsut date, you know like a normal person, just say "hey do you wna tto go see a movie?" i cant go somehwer with someone with a romantic context, or if i think i am i discover it to be entirely platonic . . . .

it sucks , for lack of a better word, it sucks

dammit how the hell do other people do this?