i get these images ometimes and i want to create them

ideas come into my head and i desperately scrape and scratch and crawl and grasp in desperation to capture them.

my notebooks are filled with sketches, i started drawing her a month ago . . the girl without the arms

she is in pain but she somehow doesnt feel it.

she feels nothing but shock

she has what she has wanted for so long

she is trapped in this eternal moment of wings.

She has something in common wiht me i suppose

not tht it matters

but i wish i could fly

she longed fo ri with every aprt of her, she ached and cried and screamed and died over and over again

her life was that wish to fly

all of herself was dedicated to it

to flying

to that unacheivable thing, the impossible that she thought was only an idle wish, became the msot incredibly harsh and beautiful reality in existance

i want to be able to give up myself for that wish, to fly, to sprout wings in spite of everything, in spite of life nd love and hate and war and fly from ehre, to have what i need and want and cry for each night

to fly