Life can be good at tiems, when my pessimism is proven wrong.

who knows maybe circumstance will make an optimist out of me yet, but somehow i doubt it

I feel attached somehow. In what way I am not quite sure. but in my heart here is a line, a cord, a thread, to someone else. There is nothing I can do to change that.

I feel at ease somehow, despite the uncertainty and the poor emails and teh conversations over fuzzy cellphones. I feel something that tells me I am not wrong, and that is satisfying.

The guy at the party last night, trying to get me to "go have a good time" with him, told me that they guy i was involved with might be cheating on me, as an attempt to get me to fuck him. for some reason it didnt bother me, the idea didnt phase me a moment, and not jsut ebcause of the alcohol. somehow, i was calm and unbothered by the thought. Im not sure if it is ebcause i felt it was impossible, or that somehow even if it was true my decision would be the same.

I'm not a party person. So isntead of feeling that partied out satisfaction after a party that msot people get . . I feel like I have insight into myself and into society every time, that is, after i sober up

somehow I prefer that, although I'm not sure it makes me a hppier person