I feel like the things i do and think are bleeding over into other people.

A thought I had, a fleeting one, one that iw as unready for that wasnt truth but arrived unexpectedly in my head has now passed from mine into another. Instead of haunting me, it hautns someone else . . . . that scares me . . . . am i manipulating someone without intention . . . is that thoguth there of its own volition or of mine, or of his . . . .

a thought can be so dangerous so frightening . . . . so perfect. To think is so much easier and more convenient than to act or live.

Ther ewas something i wnated, mnths ago, but iw as afraid of . . . i never acted on it, never let it happen . . .. and now someone else dreams of it every night . . . .

sometimes i wonder if i am harmful to others, jsu tby being near, if when i am happy i suck energy from others without knowing it, or if my sadness bleeds out of me and contaminates the blood of others.

I suppose my undying fear has always been of hurting someone else without knowing it . . . that scares me more than boogie men or sharks or spiders or even death . . .

I still feel guilt, amidst all the joy i feel i still feel so much guilt . . . part of me doesnt understand how i could hrut someone, and another part doesnt understand how i onyl do it as rarely as i do . . . . or as rarely as it hink i do.

why and how i affect other people . . . baffles me. How someone like me can say soemthing that is remembered just . . . leaves me in utter confusion.

maybe it is the undying feeling in me that i am not worth it . . . . but i think, that maybe, that feeling isnt in the best of health as of late.