I've gotten tow here I somwhat enjoy being the odd man out.

Even among my friends I am very often alone, sometimes by choice, sometimes not . . . neither of those bother me at all.

At a party months and months ago we had been outside for what seemslike forever, sitting on the trampoline, playing with glosticks, and getting a bit stoned. At a certain point we were att rcikling indoors but i stayed outside, i'm not sure they realized I was there for soem time. I stayed otuside for maybe an hour, i couldn't tel lyou how long. I smiled as I wondered if they noticed I was missing. I chuckled to msyelf hwen someone fianlly yelled out hte back door "kati are oyu out here?!" I dont know why I didnt answer.

I know I am very replacable. I kind of like the feeling. It isn't much weight on my shoudlers. As much as I need my friends, I need my time to msyelf more. I have never been one for much human interaction.

Sometimes I jsut skip chances to be around those I love. Sometimes I just stay in my room for days and everyone asks me why I'm depressed, and I can honestly say that I am fine. It is rare that people think i am depressed when I am not. It is rare that I can say I am fine when I truly am.

I like solitude, not lonelienss. i liek the option of beign aroudn people, but I don't revel in exercising that. I've never been popular, and i dont want to be.